Moving Past Guilt

Moving a parent or loved one into an assisted living can bring new opportunities

By Brenda McCutcheon

Brenda McCutcheon is the vice president of mission at Loretto Health & Rehabilitation.
Brenda McCutcheon is the vice president of mission at Loretto Health & Rehabilitation.

Many people experience guilt when moving a loved one to a long-term care residence. More and more people want to stay in their homes, stay close to their family and maintain the current structure of their lives.

But when you need to care for an older parent or other loved one, it can be stressful and challenging, particularly when we have busy lives full of responsibility.

Sometimes a loved one needs more care than we can give them.

Caregiving challenges us as roles become reversed, though they are our parents, the caregiving shifts to the children. This role reversal can deepen a parent’s feeling of hopelessness and confusion, making things even more difficult.

Moving a loved one into assisted living can alleviate some of the strain for both of you and help rekindle the relationship that was once there. We can begin to enjoy and appreciate spending quality time with our loved one again.

It’s just as important to take care of ourselves as it is to care for our loved ones, as it’s not healthy to carry feelings of guilt for doing what’s best for both parties.

If caregiving starts to affect you by feeling weighed down, then it may be time to think about the benefits of resources like an assisted living program. It’s normal to feel some angst with all the changes that come with caregiving, but it’s important to also focus on the greater value that this time in one’s life can bring to both you and your loved one.