By Gwenn Voelckers
I’m craving some “me time.” How about you?
With the fireworks, holiday decorating, shopping, and socializing behind me, all I want for January is a little peace and quiet.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the holidays, but all the hustle and bustle can leave me feeling depleted and out of sorts. My daily meditation practice gets interrupted, and I miss my early-morning opportunity to clear my mind and focus on what matters.
I miss my solitude!
And I can appreciate how paradoxical that might sound.
You might wonder why and how I would be craving solitude, given that I live alone and have ample quiet time on my hands.
Simple answer: Solitude is not about the mere absence of others. It’s about intentionality. It’s about making a conscious choice to create space for personal reflection, growth and peace.
While alone time can often feel uncomfortable, solitude — when approached mindfully and with purpose — can be a precious gift. As we welcome a new year, I encourage you to think of this time as an opportunity to give yourself the gift of intentional solitude.
Solitude vs. Alone Time
Living alone after my divorce brought on a confusing mix of emotions. On one hand, I felt freedom: freedom from the tension within my marriage, freedom to make my own decisions and the freedom to pursue my hopes and dreams on my terms.
On the other hand, living alone brought loneliness to my doorstep and an enormous sense of disconnection from the world and people around me.
This is where the concept of solitude becomes essential.
Solitude is a conscious choice to be alone with oneself, to seek moments of quiet reflection, rest and introspection. It’s about creating space for healing and rejuvenation, rather than simply enduring the empty silence that sometimes fills a home when no one else is there.
I discovered a restorative calm in solitude that allowed me to slow down and reconnect with the present moment. For me, solitude has been a way to recharge after life’s ups and downs and a sanctuary where I can pause and take stock of who I am and where I’m headed.
For others, it might be an opportunity to find clarity, to remember what it feels like to be at peace in one’s own skin, and to regain balance after an emotional upheaval in their lives.
The Benefits of Solitude
First and foremost, solitude offers a safe space for healing. After experiencing a significant loss, such as the death of a spouse or a divorce, your emotions may feel scattered and overwhelming.
Solitude provides a refuge where you can process grief, reflect on the lessons learned and begin the journey of self-discovery and self-compassion.
Rather than keeping super busy to distract myself from the pain of my failed marriage, my therapist encouraged me to “sit with my feelings” as a way to listen to my inner voice, feel my grief and regain my emotional strength.
It was excellent advice. And it worked.
Solitude can also help to recharge your emotional batteries. If, like me, you are experiencing some post-holiday burnout, you may welcome time spent in solitude. When alone, we can relax and make sense of the day’s events without constant input and stimulation from others.
This allows our minds and bodies to rest and recover from fatigue.
And finally, solitude can offer a means of reconnecting with ourselves and others in deeper, more meaningful ways. When we take the time to be with ourselves, we are better able to show up for those around us.
As the poet Rainer Maria Rilke said, “The only journey is the one within.” When we embrace solitude, we discover more about who we are — our strengths, our desires, and our capacity for love.
This self-awareness can make us more empathetic, more present and more connected to others. And what could be more important than that?
Finding Solitude
Creating intentional solitude in your life can look different for everyone.
For me, one of the most powerful ways I’ve found to embrace solitude is through daily meditation. Every morning, before the sun rises, I sit in quiet contemplation for 10 to 15 minutes. Often, my cat Shadow hops up on my lap.
I use this precious time to send prayers of love, hope, health, and peace out into the universe. It’s a practice that helps me center myself for the day and find clarity in the complexity of life and in this unsettling post-election year.
For others, solitude might come through journaling. A friend of mine starts her day with a cup of tea, pen, and paper. She writes whatever comes to mind: her hopes for the day, thoughts about her past, or observations about the people and world around her. It brings her comfort.
Still others choose solitude in nature, spending time outdoors. Many find that being surrounded by nature’s beauty provides a sense of inner peace, which helps them reset emotionally.
Whether it’s an afternoon spent reading a good book or an early morning walk through the woods, these small acts of intentional solitude can and will nurture your soul.
A Positive Start to the New Year
Let solitude be the gift you give yourself in this new year.
May it be a sanctuary of peace and your source of profound emotional and spiritual renewal in 2025. From me to you.
Happy New Year!
Gwenn Voelckers is the author of “Alone and Content,” a collection of inspiring essays for those who live alone. She welcomes your comments about this column and topic suggestions for future columns at gvoelckers@rochester.rr.com