Practical tips, advice and hope for those who live alone
By Gwenn Voelckers
As summer fades and the days grow shorter, my garden and I both begin to slow down. The blooms are fewer, the air cooler and the soil feels ready to rest.
September is the season for cutting back, tucking bulbs into the earth and covering beds for the winter ahead.
It’s also a time for reflection — a moment to look back on what the growing season has taught me.
Here’s what I have learned:
PLAN
Every glorious garden starts in the mind. Sketching it out not only keeps you from planting lupines on top of tulip bulbs, but also saves you from pulling out your own basil because you mistook it for a weed.
Likewise, a little life-mapping can help you avoid accidental overcrowding of your calendar or letting other people’s agendas take over your days.
Putting your dreams on paper makes them harder to ignore — and easier to grow.
CULTIVATE
Healthy soil equals healthy plants. Feed your roots and you’ll flourish.
In gardening, that might mean adding fertilizer and compost. In life, it’s nourishing food, long walks in nature, music that makes your heart sing, a good book and saying “yes” to that adventure you’ve been secretly daydreaming about.
Make yourself a priority and be rewarded with abundance!
PLANT
The seed aisle is a dangerous place for dreamers — so many possibilities!
Stick to your plan, plant only what you can lovingly tend, and remember: tomatoes beget tomatoes, dandelions beget … well, a thousand more dandelions.
Sow kindness, joy and self-care, and that’s exactly what you’ll harvest.
WEED
Left unattended, weeds will take over — in gardens and in life. We all need room to breathe and space in which to bloom.
Don’t let negativity crowd out your joy. Weed out negativity and any dream-stealing toxins that contaminate your life, dash your hopes or spoil your fun. And, importantly, ditch the “shoulds” that strangle your freedom
When you pull out the bad, you can more easily focus on the good in your life. Think of weeding as decluttering your soul.
PRUNE
Sometimes weeds aren’t the problem — it’s overgrowth. Maybe it’s a job, a habit or a relationship that’s gotten too tangled or too big for the space it’s in.
That’s when you bring out the “life loppers” and make bold cuts. It may feel scary, but pruning lets light in and encourages new growth.
MULCH
In the garden, mulch protects, enriches and keeps weeds at bay. In life, your “mulch” might be regular check-ups, good insurance, financial safety nets or a rock-solid morning routine.
It’s not flashy, but it’s the quiet hero that keeps things thriving.
WAIT
You’ve heard the expression: “Good things come to those who wait.” Enjoy the gradual unfolding of a garlic scape, a peony, an idea or a friendship. When you exercise patience, life can be savored and more deeply appreciated.
Each year, I look to my garden to remind myself that growth takes time. Slow growth is still growth — and often the most satisfying kind.
ENJOY
Stand back. Take pleasure in the transformation as the colors, textures and fragrances emerge and evolve. Too often, we fail to stop and smell the roses in our gardens and in
our lives.
Even now, as your garden wanes … there’s nothing quite as gratifying as admiring what you’ve accomplished. It’s reason to celebrate!
Gardening has taught me to treat my solo life as tenderly as I do my plants — to feed it, protect it, prune it when necessary and celebrate each season’s harvest.
So, whether you’re wielding a trowel or simply tending your own well-being, know this: with care, patience and a little humor, your inner garden will keep you company and bring you joy year after year.
Gwenn Voelckers is a certified life coach (CLC), columnist and author of “Alone and Content,” a collection of inspiring essays for those who live alone. She welcomes your comments, questions, and inquiries at gvoelckers@rochester.rr.com