By Melissa Stefanec |
MelissaStefanec@yahoo.com
Summer is almost here. For the health of our kids, some people think screens should be banished until fall. Although that sounds promising and idyllic on paper, I don’t think it will play out in reality. It would be akin to us parents losing television and phones for the entirety of one of our childhood summers. It just wouldn’t be practical.
One can make a solid argument that screen time isn’t doing our kids any favors. Depending on the age of the child and the circumstances, the negative effects of excessive screentime are downright scary. The side effects include things like lower academic performance, decreased executive functioning, decreased sensorimotor development, effects on speech and impacts to social development. Too much screen time can also contribute to behavioral issues, depressive symptoms, anxiety and self-harm in young people.
Most parents don’t need scientific evidence to know that too much screen time is bad. We see it play out in our daily lives. We know screens change our children’s behavior, usually for the worse. So, what is a parent to do this summer?
I suggest we make a plan to limit screen time and include our kids in the conversation. In the name of sanity and moderation, here is how I plan to limit screen time this summer for my teen and pre-teen.
• Set screen limits and enforce them — I plan to talk to my kids about screen time, limits on screen time and how those limits will be enforced. There are tools parents can use to monitor and limit how and when kids engage with content online. I plan to use them.
• Consider apps that have lock outs — There are plenty of apps that monitor and limit what your kids can do on their devices. Although these apps usually have a fee and require setup and maintenance, they are very helpful in supporting kids as they navigate the internet.
• Talk about what screen time does to their brains — Kids are hungry for information. I will give my kids information about the dangers of too much screen time. I plan to show them studies and articles about screen addiction, social media usage and the possible harm these things can do. I don’t want to create a boogeyman, but I also want them to be curious about the risks.
• Limit my own screen time — This is a big one. Most parents, myself included, need to be better about how much time we spend engaging with screens. Kids can sniff out hypocrisy in seconds and leading with good habits is good for everyone.
• Assign chores — We all need time to decompress and engage in a little nonsense. But kids should be contributing to the household. I’m a big fan of assigning age-appropriate chores to my kids. The expectation is they complete their chores before screen time.
• Set expectations for each day — Not all summer days are built the same. Having the same screen expectations every single day doesn’t make sense. I will talk to my kids about expectations for busy days, lazy days, family days and all the other sorts of days summer throws at us.
• Discuss video game usage — Social video games can offer a way to engage with friends and peers. However, they can also be a way for kids to get sucked into hours of mind-numbing gaming. I plan to talk to my kids about healthy video game usage and the potential pitfalls of social video games.
• Encourage independent activities — Most kids desperately crave independence. I plan to give my kids age-appropriate independence so they can spread their wings and learn outside of a digital environment. If there is one thing more alluring than a screen, it might be autonomy.
• Strongly weigh social media usage — Many experts say kids should stay off of social media until they are at least 16 years old. Social media can have devastating consequences, especially for younger users. Social media will not be making an appearance in my kids’ summers.
• Keep track of all of the devices in the house — I have so many online devices. From phones, to laptops, to smart TVs, to smart speakers, to video games and smart frames, there are a lot of ways to access the internet. If I’m going to be serious about enforcing screen boundaries, I have to track all of the internet-enabled devices in our homes.
• Set up activities that don’t involve screens — Kids need stimulation. Although I’m a big proponent of boredom for kids, understimulation has its own negative consequences. I plan to engage my kids in screen-free activities with family and friends. A nice mix of structured and unstructured fun can make kids forget about screens for a while.
• Don’t fall into the “everyone else’s parents let them” trap — I know I have different rules than other parents and my kids and I may feel the fear of being left out. That is a hard feeling to grapple with, but it should not keep me from setting a healthy boundary for my children.
• Create a screen-free zone before bed — I plan to limit any form of screens before bed. I also don’t let my kids keep their devices in their rooms. Allowing kids to play video games, go online or watch TV late into the evening hours has numerous negative impacts on sleep. Kids who don’t sleep well don’t feel well.
So, that’s my plan for a reduced-screen summer. Wish us all luck.